Right around the corner..

I can't believe it, but today we picked up our tank! It was such a bittersweet feeling. So nervous yet so excited and proud, especially because not only did mommy come, but memaw came too! We carried you around all day and mommy stashed the tank in the office till Monday. I'm not sure how I'm gonna sleep untill the. I'm so excited!

Oh boy

Well guess what? We went to the dr today and dr Chen said I made 4 eggs! I know, I could hardly believe it myself, she also said that I had to come in early to make you. Right now it's 2am and I cannot for the life of me sleep! I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. Memaw is coming with us tomorrow and she will get to see you as an egg! Everyone is so very excited and your mommy and I called all our closest loved ones to tell them about the news! I've been praying so very very hard every single day and I hope that God hears us. I know he listens and I have so much faith in him. We will get to meet you soon I can feel it. I can't believe after so many months of planning we finally get to try. I'm trying my very best to stay positive and not worry too much. I love you so much and I can't wait to make you!

-mama

Let the crazy begin!

Or end rather, we just finished our 5 days of clomid CD3-7 on march 26th. My ovaries feel the size of grapefruits, and Im afraid to run anywhere for fear of them bursting or falling down my leg! I actually didnt experience much craziness, just felt like a big fat lady in a small hot room , especially in the middle of the night those hot flashes were ferocious! A few cramps here and there but luckily no mood swings! More lucky for your mommy :P. I am SO SO SO nervous, worried, excited and concerned about making you next week. I will feel better on friday when I see some eggs in there. I love you so much, i've been praying to st. gerard for you SO SO SO hard. And of course everyone else, I left roses for the annunciation of Mary at church the other day and I even bought some candles and prayer cards.

Deep breaths, patience is a virture.

Dear baby,
We are in the home stretch (of our first journey of hurdles). I am taking 100 mg of clomid, which is supposed to make me act like a crazy lady but I actually don't feel too shabby. I get pretty crazy 300 pound fat lady hot flashes, and they are accentuated in the middle of the night, I have a little bit of bloating, and last night (day 3 of clomid) I felt my ovaries doing something which felt like light cramping which was weird, mildly uncomfortable, but I fell back asleep. I think the thing that has got me the most was the lack of sleep; and I cant say its not from a combination of being excited, a little worried, and more excited. At our last RE appt, Dr. Chen said we aren't allowed to have a booster shot, because we would have two of you!!! Could you imagine TWO little nikki's running around? :P So in a few days we will go back, see how my little eggs (one of them possibly being you) is developing, and then we will wait a few more days go back and BOOM make you! Well I can hope and pray that it's that simple, but we will just have to wait and see. Just know that every night with every fiber in my body I pray so hard for you. I pray that we get to meet you, that we get to love you, and we finally get to hold you. We try not too be too rambunctious about the idea of you quite yet, but in the back of my mind you're really all I think about. Mommy has been pretty good with me, I know shes excited because she talks about you all the time. She picks out some FUNKY names let me tell you. Of the possibilities so far she wants you to be name ATTICUS?! I know, I know just like the book, but hey mommy is a nerd so dont take it out on her too bad :P.

 Your Mommy and I

 

The Scary thing I had to use to find you!

Silly Pictures that your Mommy took of me. 

Good morning my love bug,

Tomorrow we are going to see Dr. Chen, and consult about some medicine so that we can finally try and conceive you! I have been patiently waiting for this day for such a long time. I pray for you each and every night, and I think about you all the time. I wonder what you will look like, and why I don't dream of you more. I dreamt of you for the first time the other day, you were in my belly. I didnt know if you were a boy or girl, all I knew is that I was just happy that I got to feel you in my belly. Mommy is so very excited for you as well! Ahhh I am trying to be patient, and trying not to stress, as well as try not to feel defeated or negative at all. I cannot wait to meet you my little one, I love you more than you can ever imagine.

Cha Ching

:o

3 days before the countdown begins!

Well, we have purchased 6 vials, a whopping 4k. Who would have known that if you wanted to have a baby and were smart and planned it, you would have to pay for sperm when men throw it around the world for free! Oh the joys of being gay. On the 16th I am scheduled to stop taking birth control. YAY thank goodness, that stuff makes me crazy, but before we cheer too much, on day one of my period I have to call in, where on days 3-7 I will take clomid, which is said to make people SUPER crazy, thank goodness its only for 4 days. I feel sorry for your mommy sometimes, however its all part of the process :). I cannot wait I am so excited and nervous, I am just trying to contain it all and be calm about it. I will miss acupuncture, it was relaxing and Dr. Han and Grace are so very very nice. We are so close I can feel it. Memaw has a good feeling about this all, and I am hoping and praying very hard that this is all part of the plan, we want so badly to meet you already. I will be back soon to give you more updates. Love you bunches.


mamma.